


The End Of All Things

by Nope_Not_Today



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abandonment, Abuse, Asexual Matt, Asexual Pidge, Bet You Havent Heard That Before, Demisexual Hunk, Depression, Equality, F/M, Feminism, Gen, Heterosexual Allura, Heterosexual Coran, Heterosexual Shiro, Homosexual/Aromantic Keith, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Pansexual Lance, Prisoner of War, Suicide, Suicide Attempts, Trans Female/Lesbian Romelle, bisexual shay, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-27 17:43:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15029822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nope_Not_Today/pseuds/Nope_Not_Today
Summary: "No one's okay. Nothing's okay. How can anyone be happy when yesterday my best friend almost died!""It's my fault. I'm sorry. I did this. I left. I deserve everything he does to me. I deserve being alone.""I can't let this take over me. He's not here anymore, so why can't I go a single night without sobbing?!""I'm surprised I wasn't dead. I'm surprised she didn't just take me out back and shoot me. Maybe it would be different. Maybe if I died, I wouldn't be so fucking sad!""I can't even look at myself without seeing it! Nothing is the same. I'm not safe. My own home isn't good enough. I never left! I'm still there! I won't ever escape!""There's this thing I do. Where, no matter what, I shut down. Even when I'm smiling for real, I end up falling back to that same sad place.""I am a monster."





	1. Author's Note

Before you read my story, I would like to ask all of you for one favor. Now, this isn't some normal suicidal fanfiction where it focuses on one person and one relationship. This isn't a fanfiction with a sole focus on one character. This fanfiction is for the entire cast. This fanfiction was made to express every unspoken belief, thought and painful memory of mine into these characters. I made this to share my mind and my view on life. As a depressed, suicidal woman, I, alone, have this set view on the world. Everything about me has a story behind it. Nothing is ever random. And I would appreciate it if you didn't just read this fanfiction like any other. I would like it if you read between the lines. Looked for every single meaning I put into this because nothing written in this story is meaningless. Everything has a purpose. The choices I've made. The characters I've used. The setting and plot. Nothing was just "used'. I did this for a reason. Please understand that. Thank you.

 

Please, enjoy. ^.^ 


	2. Chapter 1: Everything will be okay

 

“Do you have any 2’s?”

 

“Nooooope. Go fish.”

 

In an annoyed grunt, Keith drew another food-themed card out of the deck and placed a 3 of spades into his grand accumulation of what he’d like to call total _bullshit_. So far everyone in the game has gotten at least one four-of-a-kind. And yet here he is with three 2’s, one 5, two 6’s, three jacks, and a joker. His right hand was getting tired of this shit. He rested his cheek against his knuckles as Shay asked Hunk if he has any 1’s.

 

Hunk gave his girlfriend a dopey smile and nodded,”Of course I do, babe.”

 

_Of course he does._

 

Shay beamed, taking the two cards Hunk offered her and placed them onto the desktop. Digging through her small jumble of cards, she fished two more out and officially granted herself another pile to her original three. Keith let out a drawled sigh and rolled his eyes. At this point, he wasn’t going to catch up to the two even if he tried. _Absolute bullshit._

 

Hunk glanced at him, chuckling at the sight of his sulking self,”Don’t worry Keith, I’m sure you’ll get those 2’s.”

 

Keith sent him a pointed glare and huffed,”With my luck, the only thing I’ll win today is a severe case of carpal tunnel.” Shay let out a loud, high-pitched laugh, that caused her entire body to shake. Keith’s eyes flicked over to her and narrowed. She quickly tried to ease the giggles, using the few cards she had left in her hand to hide the large grin on her face,”Sorry Keith.”

 

Hunk just kept smiling, his free hand occupied with sorting through his own cards,”You should lighten up. After all,” Hunk’s gaze settled onto Keith as a smirk creeped up at the corners of his mouth,”It’s a special day.” Keith’s eyes grew slightly as the grip on his cards tightened.

 

Shay’s face twisted in confusion. Her eyes flicking from Keith to Hunk with burning curiosity,”What’s so special about today?”

 

Keith glared at Hunk, threateningly begging him to keep his mouth shut. But the goofy, lovable dork decided to turn to his girlfriend and offer a slightly devious grin,”Red wants to make purple.” Shay gasped in awe, her smile widening as she dropped the remainder of her cards and pulled Keith into a giant embrace. He fought against the affection, trying to pry the large arms that strangled his torso. But she continued to hold him even tighter as she squealed,”I’m so proud of you, Keith! You’re finally going to ask him out!”

 

Keith’s entire body spasmed, his muscles tightening and forcing Shay’s arms apart. He escaped her hold and whipped his head around the room. With relief, no teenage head nor adult moved from their current position. The study hall remained silent, save for the three of them. Letting out a sigh, Keith turned back around and clenched his fists,”Please,” He begged, sounding exhausted,”Keep your voice down.” Shay apologized quickly and returned to her residence at Hunk’s side.

 

Hunk merely chuckled, slipping his arm around her waist and placed his cards face down onto the table,”There’s no need to be secretive about it. He’s not even in here.”

 

Keith threw his cards onto the desk and crossed his arms,”It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t know, which means _this-_ ” He gestured at the three of them,”Needs to be kept on the downlow.”

 

Hunk let out a sigh, shaking his head,”Keith, you’re overreacting.”

 

Keith narrowed his eyes,”I am _not_ over anything. This is the perfect amount of reacting.” He let out a tired sigh and threw his body back against the chair. Closing his eyes, he whispered,”I...I just don’t wanna fuck this up.”

 

“And you won’t.” His lips fell into a frown, eyes opening and meeting a reassuring gaze from Hunk,”I _know_ you, Keith. Well, sort of. We’ve only hung out like five times and we just started talking in class around November so, yeah. But I know you enough to say that, no matter what, you’ll do this right.” Keith couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face as he rolled his eyes and chuckled at Hunk’s, well, _everything._ The guy might be affectionate and incapable of keeping secrets, but he’s the only one Keith is capable of standing besides Shiro.

 

The bell rang dully, allowing a feminine voice to barely broadcast bus changes over the broken loudspeakers. Keith reluctantly stood up and grasped the strap of his black, ripped backpack from underneath Hunk’s desk. He waved the couple goodbye and ducked out of the room before he had to witness another public display of affection. It made chills go through his spine at the mere thought of affection. Granted, he isn’t entirely against kissing, but anything close to what one would deem ‘romantic’ puts him off entirely. And yet, here he was, throwing his bag over his shoulder and racing towards the exit to ask out a boy who is _all_ about romance.

 

_God, I’m such a hypocrite._

  


Keith glides himself through the crowd of teenagers that were racing to get out of the building and onto the bus before every seat had been filled. He was silently grateful for the quick pace of the group, allowing him to cross the threshold and dash down the bus loop earlier than planned. His head whipped back and forth, eyes scanning through the many bodies for ocean blue eyes and obnoxious laughter. He groaned, anxiety clawing at his fingertips as a sudden realization drove him to a stop. **_What if he says no?_ **

 

Keith hadn’t thought about rejection. His mind had only been focused on simply asking the guy out. He began to panic at that thought, his breathing coming out in harsh, heavy exhales. His hands grew clamey, both of them slowly balling into fists as he shut his eyes and tried to calm down. Dark thoughts were creeping in and old memories decided to tag along for the ride. It was taking everything Keith had in him to not fall to his knees and burst out into a sob.

 

“Are you alright, Keith?”

 

Keith jumped, his eyes now wide open and focusing on the one person he tolerated the most. Lance had his small, ocean eyes fill with concern over Keith’s terrified expression. His grip on the strap of his book bag was loosened as he attempted to place a comforting hand onto Keith’s shoulder. Even though Keith’s body screamed to move away from the touch, Keith stayed right where he was, his eyes captured in Lance’s.

 

Lance quirked a brow,”You’re looking a little pale, dude. Do you need me to take you to the nurse?”

 

Keith blinked and shook his head, finding his voice,”Uh, no. I’m fine.” Lance didn’t seem to be entirely convinced, but didn’t push it. Instead, Lance only offered him his charming smile, which was all Keith needed to calm down. This simple gesture is what makes Keith like Lance even more. No matter what, Lance doesn't try to pry. He respects the privacy of others and understands boundaries.

 

Lance removed his hand from Keith’s shoulder and re-tightens his grip on the strap, “I’ve gotta go man, but I’ll talk to you later.” Keith found himself screaming inside his head as he watched Lance go around him and head for bus 567. Instinctively, Keith leaped over and captured Lance’s wrist within his hand.

 

Lance turned around, confusion written all over his face as Keith shouted,”Go out with me!”

 

It was probably one of the most scariest decisions in Keith’s life. His heart was beating faster than ever before and he was afraid it might break free from his ribcage. Lance’s entire face was frozen. The boy only blinked slowly and exhaled. Keith feared for the worse until Lance’s brow rose slightly,”Are you asking me out?”

 

At this point, Keith’s face fell and irritation pricked against his skin,”What else could ‘go out with me’ _mean_ , Lance?”

 

Lance narrowed his eyes,”Don’t be rude when asking me out! I expect politeness.”

 

Keith was getting agitated, frustration breaking his face out into a scowl,”Then don't be such a dumbass and answer the goddamn question!”

 

“Jeez, who spit in your cereal?”

 

“ **_Lance!_ ** ”

 

“Okay! Okay. Sheesh, I’m just messing with you.” Lance’s face broke out into a shit eating grin while his eyes sparked with delight from Keith’s obvious irritation,”I would love to go out with you.”

 

Keith’s scowl instantly fell into a surprised, child-like disbelief,”Really?”

 

Lance’s cheeks flushed as he nodded,”Yeah. I uh...I like you a lot.” He bit his lip, trying to hide just how flustered and happy he really was.

 

Keith’s utter disbelief slowly changed into a genuine smile,”I like you a lot too.”

 

Lance huffed,”Well, _yeah_ Keith. You’re the one who asked me out. It’s obvious.”

 

Keith nodded, grinning ear to ear, “Right.”

 

Laughter bubbled out of Lance as he shook his head and placed a chase kiss to Keith’s cheek,”I’m glad you asked me out, but I’ve got to get on my bus.” Keith blinked before he realized his hand was still wrapped around Lance's wrist. Immediately, Keith released Lance and watched as the boy who liked him back wave goodbye and disappear up the stairs of the yellow vehicle. Keith stood there and watched as bus 567 drove off into the street, leaving him all alone with his right hand unconsciously caressing his cheek.

 

_Yeah, definitely a hypocrite_

 

~&~ _._

 

“Deployment?”

 

Shiro nodded slowly, taking a long drag of his black coffee. His body tensed at the thought of leaving, his breathing slow and stiff as he tries to calm the anxiety thats swarming within his stomach. His eyes focus back onto Allura as he swallows one last sip and lets out a drawled sigh, ”Apparently something happened over in the middle east. Reports have confirmed that it’s the Galra’s doing.”

 

Allura nodded slightly, her lips lining together firmly. She placed her mocha latte down on the small, circular table and hugged her arms together,”Can’t say I’m surprised.”

 

“Yeah..” Shiro took another drag and found himself clenching his hands into fists,”The Galra are an immovable object in the nation's path to freedom. So war is inevitable. Unless troops were sent to eliminate the threat before it comes down to that.”

 

Allura’s brows drew together, eyes narrowed as her back hunched forward, allowing long, curling locks of white hair to slip over her shoulders,”But don’t they understand that the Galra can’t simply be ‘taken out’? This is a group of terrorists who will sacrifice everything just to destroy the world. I mean, they _never_ once put out a demand for money or a certain law or... anything! They just murder and cause chaos.”

 

Shiro nodded, his hands clenching even harder,”Of course they do, but what choice does America have? No matter what, the Galra aim for war. And the country would rather surrender to the british then go to it.”

 

Allura groaned in frustration and threw her body back against the chair,” _Men._ I swear to you, had it been a woman, she would of gladly let the war to proceed in order to ensure the demise of the Galra.”

 

Shiro shrugged, looking down at his half empty cup of coffee,”Either way, i’ll be leaving Keith all alone.”

 

Allura glanced at him, offering a reassuring smile,”He won't be alone. He’ll have Coran and I to look after.”

 

Shiro nodded, still feeling a cloud of guilt strangle his heart,”I just wish I didn’t have to leave him. He’s….he’s been through a lot, Allura.”

 

Allura leaned forward, resting her hand onto shiro’s unraveling fist,”I know.”

 

Shiro glanced up at her and immediately felt ashamed of his words,”I’m _so_ sorry, I didn’t mean it like you hadn’t suffered at all-”

 

Allura giggled,”Stop worrying, Shiro. I’m a big girl. I know how to push forward.”

 

Shiro frowned,”I know, but still…”

 

Allura shook her head, taking another sip of her latte before beaming,”Besides! I have Matt now.”

 

Shiro’s eyes widened for a minute before he grinned,”That’s right. I forgot he asked you out last week. How is it so far? With him, I mean.”

 

Allura smirked,”Are you asking for me as my friend or for him as his best friend?”  


Shiro chuckled,”I’m asking because I’m curious. There’s no ulterior motives.”

 

Allura’s smile grew, her hands unconsciously going to her hair, continuing a constant pulling and twisting motion as she spoke,”He is just....such a _dork_ . I mean-” She lets out a snort, shaking her head as blush flushes over her cheeks,”The amount of movies he knows is _just_ astonishing.”

 

Shiro snickers, drinking the last of his coffee in one shot before tossing it into the trash can a few feet away,”Yeah, he’s been a dork ever since i met him during freshman year of college.”

 

“It’s just so interesting watching him go on and on about Voltron-”

 

Shiro quirked a brow,”Voltron? I haven’t heard of that one before.”

 

Allura took a sip from her latte and glanced upwards, digging through her memory in an attempt to recall all she knew of the show,”Well, it’s this anime about five paladins who pilot these robotic cats …..and I think they also combined into one giant robot with cat mouths for hands and feet.”

 

Shiro narrowed his eyes, unsure if he understood anything she just said,”That sounds...interesting?”

 

“Yeah, I didn’t understand it either.” Allura giggled, curling a strand of hair around her finger,”But apparently one of the pilots is a princess that reminded him of me. So he’s been calling me princess ever since Monday.”

 

“I’m sure you just _hate_ that.” Shiro smirked, gaining a snort from the other.

 

Allura rolled her eyes.”I may be a queen but I won't _deny_ the man his right to call me a princess either. Who says I can’t be both?”

 

“Probably everyone.”

 

“Oh shut up!”

 

Shiro found himself calmer than before. His heart was less strained with the thought of leaving and his body felt very relaxed. He looked to Allura with a genuine smile and found himself standing, initiating a hug,”I’m going to miss you.”

 

Allura nodded, turning around and throwing her finished latte into the same trash bin as before. She stood from her chair and went around to meet Shiro into a warm, loving embrace.”I’ll miss you too, Takashi.”

 

Allura pulled back far enough to catch Shiro’s eyes,”Come back safe, okay?” Shiro grinned.

  
  


“Of course, Princess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to update every week as much as possible. I'm a procrastinator and I tend to suffer deeply for it. And I'm saying this as I lose precious sleep to write another chapter even though I have to wake up in five hours. But it'll be worth it. I hope. Anyways, I hope you like it. And just you wait, it gets worse. 
> 
> haha, sorry. I'm exhausted.


End file.
